When I started leaking some fluid, I had to go to the hospital to confirm it was amniotic fluid and not mucous I was leaking. When that was confirmed, I wasn’t allowed to leave. I was induced less than 6 hours later because my labour hadn’t yet started on it’s own. Because of the induction, the contractions came hard and fast with no rest in between and after about an hour or two and being only 2 cm dilated (I was 1cm before even going to the hospital) I opted for an epidural. My mother and husband could only sit by and rub my hand, no idea how to help or what to say. The epidural was a lovely feeling but I had no idea the consequences of the epidural or the induction on my body or on my baby. Another couple of short hours later, they discovered my baby was breech and a c -section would have to be performed.  All of this lead to a very dopey, unfocused birth with many “other people” coming in and out and not knowing what was going on or where my baby was and not really participating much at all in her entry into the world – something I was not prepared for and not even aware that I would feel so badly for it.

Because of all of these “snowball” effect events, I decided next time would be different.

My second pregnancy consisted of reading material such as Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth and the video “The Business of Being Born” and had my husband do the same. I went to a midwife and asked my friend Emily to be my doula. I was going to attempt a VBAC.

There are so many things I was happy about with my above choices. 1) I would not be medically induced because of the stress it puts on the body, it risks opening the uterine scar from my c-section. 2) Epidurals were an options, but not recommended because then I wouldn’t be able to feel if my scar did open during labour. 3) All of my labour partners were in full support of a natural birth and would be coaching me to stay as close to that goal as possible.

When I did go in to labour, I called my doula first. My contractions had been going throughout the night, and were about 5 mins apart, but only lasting about 30 seconds at 5.30am on Monday morning. She came over around 7am and chatted, did our dishes (!), made sure we had food for labour for both me and my husband, and made frozen tea pads for perineal healing after the birth. She left for a few hours, calling to check in, to run a few errands, and returned around 4pm,  My contractions still weren’t longer or closer together, but they were more intense, and I was having to moan through them instead of just breathing. She would moan with me, time my contractions, make sure I was getting fluids between them, make food for me, suggest other positions to help the pain, and by 6 or 7pm, when they were getting longer and more intense still, she would apply counter pressure to my back and hips and sway with me while we moaned together to keep the tones low.

When it was time to go to the hospital, she was right there with us, knew where to go, helped put bags away in a corner, grabbed a birthing ball for me to sit on, and prepared beverages and cloths to help keep me cool and hydrated. Every time I had a long or intense contraction she would help keep my tone low when it needed to be lowered, and assured me when I was doing well. She helped prepare the shower for me to sit in while Andrew ran warm water over me, and made sure there were warm blankets around when I got chills.

She also supported Andrew. She made sure he was getting enough rest and food to be there for me, guided him to massage and provide counter pressure through contractions as well, and reassured him while I was groaning like a slow-motion football replay

I could not imagine labouring without Emily. Every time I thought “oh it would be great if someone could….” she was already doing it. And even when I thought “that’s not necessary,” like doing our dishes or making frozen pads…..it was the biggest help in the world! I just didn’t know it. It was great to come home and not have to clean dishes to make a meal and the pads have really helped sooth my tender bottom.

From the bottom of my heart Emily………thank you!

I do not think I would have stayed at home as long or stayed as calm or been as comfortable with my decisions if you weren’t there providing the support that you did.